She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This baby is an asshole
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
