it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
