It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
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Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
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I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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