I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
