cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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