I think my vagina is haunted
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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