he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.