I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And then the night went full on bisexual.