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I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She even gives head with a lisp.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
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