May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.