I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper