guess who came home with a hottie last night
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.