Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit