that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
