6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
