Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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