idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
