There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
