How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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