I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
