Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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