I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
