i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
