Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
