I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
