If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
