that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
