I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
