So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
