i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
