i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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