Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
His hands were made for my vagina.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
