I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
