I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
