Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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