There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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