Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
