please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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