As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
