How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Please don't give away my fajitas
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