happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
