Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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