You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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