we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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