I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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