we have officially mastered the walk of shame
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
