just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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