Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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