I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize