bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
