Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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