Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
