We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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