so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
