I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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