if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
