You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize