can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
