So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize