The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
