seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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