You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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