Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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