How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
