so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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